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Allegra Vieux

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October 22, 2013

Relationship Advice From an Unlikely Source

October 22, 2013 | By | 26 Comments

 

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My beautiful engaged friend, Kyndra and her fiance Justin.

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My wonderful engaged friends Sam and Abi. Poster children!

My dear friends of MNU Blogs,

It seems like among high school and college aged students, relationships are the hot topic. I don’t know about you readers out there, but at least 75% of my conversations are about finding “the one” or dating or “talking” or something of the matter. This week alone I’ve had about 7 conversations about dating and relationships and it’s only Tuesday.

I find myself pondering the question: Why are these people coming to me? I’m not qualified to answer their questions and here are some of the reasons why I’m probably the worst person to come to:

  1. I’m happily single and feel that college should be about spending as much time with as many people as possible before we leave. (Side note: I am a founding co-president of MNU’s unofficial evangelical organization TSFL: Team Single For Life.)
  2. I don’t usually know anything about the relationship at hand. Most of the time, I don’t even know the significant other (from here on referred to as “sig,”) so I am completely one sided.
  3. I am blunt. I tell things like it is.  I’m not good at telling people what they want to hear when it’s not true.

On the other hand, maybe all of these things actually qualify me to give advice more. I don’t waste time in dating relationships if I know they’re not going anywhere. I am 100% PRO whoever I am talking to (we all need one of those friends.) And, I don’t waste my time sugar-coating the facts. Just today I was talking to a good friend of mine and she said, “Hey, you should write a blog. You have such good advice.” Well, it’s Tuesday, so here we go.

May I present: Relationship Advice From an Unlikely Source: The completely blunt unbiased third party advice you’re looking for in your relationship.

I remember when I was 16 and visiting some friends from my hometown. I asked my BFFL Kimberly about another one of our friends. “Is she going out with that guy??” and the words she said back to me are forever burned into the front of my mind. “Well, they’re talking.” I asked her to explain what this meant, and she said something ambiguously alluding to not officially dating but talking to each other exclusively and occasionally going out on dates. This brings me to point #1.

1. Talking is Dating, so call it what it is.

People act like if they say they are dating someone, then they are forever tied to them and have to marry them. NEWSFLASH: that would be called an engagement.

Hey, speaking of dating, whatever happened to guys asking girls out on dates? You know, the good ole fashioned dinner and skating at the local roller-rink? With the advances in technology, it seems like nowadays people are texting every minute of the day until one day a photo album on Facebook shows up called “I SAID YES!!!!!” This brings me to point #2.

2. If you aren’t going off campus together, you’re going nowhere together.

Let me speak to the ladies for a moment: You are worth a guy taking the time to ask you out on formal dates. You are worth a guy not being worried about what people will think if his partners in crime see him with you. He should be proud to be with you! Enough of this ridiculous virtual relationship stuff. Demand the best because you ARE the best. And you don’t have to take my word for it: the Bible spells it out. Check it out sometime. And if Jesus thinks you’re to die for, then whoever you’re with should too!

And to the men: it’s not your fault that you’re being given the easy option of emojis and snapchats instead of face to face interaction. Heck, if I were in your shoes, I’d choose free over wining (grape juicing?) and dining any day. I’m so sorry that we have lowered our standards and basically said “you’re never going to be able to treat me as a mature adult, so I’ll make it easy for you.” We’ve trained you that virtual relationships are okay, and I would like to personally apologize on behalf of Christian women in America that we have killed the chase, made it easy, and are readily waiting for no effort on your end at all. Do us a favor, and don’t settle for someone who says you’re incapable of wooing us over. It’ll make you better and make us shape up to be the women Christ calls us to be.

I’ve talked to some friends recently that have been torn because they are in either a pseudo-relationship or a full blown committed relationship, but the feelings aren’t really there. They are afraid to leave because they fear “being forever alone” and that if they don’t stay in the relationship, then they won’t ever find anyone better and they’ll die alone. I’ve also talked to singles who are not in a relationship and are depressed that they aren’t planning a wedding with their graduation party. This leads me to my next point:

3. Quit being ridiculous and start being honest.

It is absolutely ridiculous that people fear the gift of celibacy. Let me reassure you that if you crave a relationship, you probably don’t have it! PS- You are 20 years old. Marriage is a commitment FOR LIFE. The national average for marriage is in the 27-29 year mark. Average life expectancy for Americans is 80 years. You have 60 years to find someone… And can we even call it finding someone? Doesn’t God have this world in His hands? Can we start trusting that He has our best interest in mind and will give us the people in our lives that we need? I’m no ministry major, but I’ve been to a lot of chapel and church services and I think that’s Biblical. And if you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it. That’s the most admirable reason to break off a relationship IMO (in my opinion.) If your sig isn’t what you’re looking for, or if the feelings aren’t there, then let them go because chances are you’re not the one for them either. Literally, no one can reprimand you for being honest about your feelings. They can reprimand you for ignoring your feelings and then having them all come up later like a volcanic eruption. That’s when this question gets thrown out: “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way? What else have you been withholding?” Nip that sucker in the bud and move on.  And in the spirit of honesty, nobody likes confrontation. Get it over with so you can stop being consumed with it.

Researchers estimate that 40-50% of first time marriages end in divorce, and 60% of second marriages end in divorce or permanent separation. As you can probably guess, it’s time for point #4.

4. Don’t be a statistic.

In the words of Bruno Mars, “It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.” Don’t sit on the other side of the computer and act like you’ve never danced to that song. I don’t blame you. It’s so catchy! But if marriage becomes an item on your list to check off, it’s time to reevaluate. Mars goes on to say “If we wake up and we wanna break up, that’s coooooool…” Friends of the United States of America: If your sig says or alludes this to you, it’s time to break up with them right then and there. More importantly, if you have this thought in the back of your mind, you’re probably not ready to make the commitment of holy matrimony. Maybe instead of listing getting married and starting a family a part of your 5 year plan, you should set other goals and let The good Lord surprise you with the desires of your heart. It will happen when you are least expecting it, so stop planning for it. You ain’t no Kardashian. Start loving where you’re at. Take advantage of the short amount of time you have as a single young adult and travel! Do things that take you out of your comfort zone and grow as an individual!

Once upon a time I had a friend going through something. For the sake of the story, we’ll call her Nancy. Nancy was like, IN LOVE with this dude, we’ll call him Rob. Rob was that guy in high school that everyone loved because he was awesome and everyone secretly hated because they wanted to be him. Nancy was your average girl next door, but obviously with a great sense of humor because she was friends with me. One day, Rob started taking interest in Nancy. He asked her to go out on dates, and then after about three weeks they made it FBO (Facebook Official.) Sounds like a classic romantic comedy? Well that’s because it was. Except Nancy became this alternate quiet opinionless person around Rob because she was afraid that her bold personality would scare him off. She didn’t feel comfortable around him. This leads me to my final point:

5. If you’re not having fun, then the relationship is done.

Yes, relationships are work. But the payoff should be worth it! If you can’t be yourself, you’ll drive yourself crazy. Don’t be a people pleaser. Sure, be agreeable and kind. And yes, I get the Biblical principle about women submitting to their men and husbands loving their wives, but I also understand that Jesus calls us to be BOLD and take on the courage of a lion! Enjoy being yourself, because baby, you were born this way. Annnd enjoy your sig being themselves too! They should LOVE your personality, and if they don’t, then they are missing out for real. I’m not required to tell you that because I’m not your mom or your best friend. You can trust my words. Likewise, you should LOVE their personality, and if you don’t then someone else will. It’s not your responsibility to give someone the pity laugh every time you turn around. If you’re anything like me and grew up in the protestant evangelical church, then I’m sure you’re familiar with the Newsong/Natalie Grant song “When God Made You.” (You can reminisce here.) With all due respect, can we please stop making marriage the end-all be-all? Let’s live life to the fullest and stop being so concerned about something that Jesus already has taken care of!

Keep these things in mind and you too will end up being in a beautiful engagement photo like the ones above.

Stay tuned for the flip: break up advice! (Dun Dun Dun!!!)

 

Over and Out!

 

 

 

Allegra Vieux

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October 10, 2013

Some funnies for your Thursday morning

October 10, 2013 | By | 3 Comments

These are my friends. They are aspiring worship remix artists and went crazy one night in Land Cafe (the “after hours” snack shop on campus)

They start with Lord I Lift Your Name On High and end with some Kirk Franklin Medley.

Watch when my bud Will joins the fun

Enjoy!

 

[Kim Campbell I hope you laugh so hard it sends you into labor]
Allegra Vieux

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October 9, 2013

10 MUSTS before starting homework…

October 9, 2013 | By | 2 Comments

Hello Blog World.

Senioritus has settled in. It is barely midterms. BLAH

I never thought I’d be the apathetic student ready to finish school. Just a few short months ago, I wanted to get a job on campus after graduation so I could stick around because I love MNU so much. It’s amazing how quickly things can change. Still love MNU, but ready to move on to the next step in my life.

Lately, I’ve been noticing that there are several completely illogical things that I HAVE to finish before I can even think about my homework. I know they’re illogical because I’m in intro to philosophy. You don’t have to tell me.

So may I present to you: 10 MUSTS before starting homework!

#1. Find a local Mexican bakery with friends and sustain yourself off the sweet-carbolicious goodness.

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#2. Make a late-night run to Applebees for half price appetizers (I’m a little embarrassed to say how often this happens)IMG_2285

#3. Design a new tattoo. I’m clearly an artist.IMG_2293

 

#4.) Meticulously make your bed. No wrinkles!

 

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#5. Read a book for pleasure. (I don’t even like reading, but this book is AWESOME when there’s homework to be done or not!)IMG_2295

 

#6. Sweep the bathroom floor.IMG_2297

 

#7. Organize the clothing in the dresser- you know, just in case my mom shows up and wants to see the inside.IMG_2298

#8. Pick out a shade of pink and sparkly to repaint my nails.. so what if it’s the 6th time this week?IMG_2299

#9. Re-organize the scarf collection.

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#10. Beat the high score on DOTS- If you don’t have this game, go download it! I scored a 301 without any powerups- WHATS UP.

IMG_7436And this dear friends, is why I’m blogging at 3am… with homework to be done yet.

Allegra Vieux

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October 1, 2013

Trusted Traveler, Homecoming Nominations, and Adventures in Target

October 1, 2013 | By | No Comments

Greetings Blog World.

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Once again, I am back in Kansas from California. I passed my Trusted Traveler interview and was granted a Sentri Pass! I was there Thursday-Sunday, and spent about 2 full days in the Amor Office in San Diego, so I kind of felt like I was on my own version of Ferris Bueller’s day off… except I spent my days in a cubicle teaching myself accounting and brainstorming fun ways I can fund-raise…and distracting all my friends in the process.

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I got back on Sunday afternoon, so my friends and I visited our other friend who works at Target in Olathe… basically, I make a scene anywhere I go.

IMG_2268 IMG_2269 IMG_2271 IMG_2272I am also campaigning for my good friend, Caitlin Wienck, to be Homecoming Queen! You can track my progress by searching the trending topic #WienckForQueenIn2013.

she's beauty and she's graceTune in Next week for: Meet Kassidy Ritchell!

Allegra Vieux

By

September 25, 2013

¡Viva Mexico!

September 25, 2013 | By | 6 Comments

Blogging world: it is a week of celebration.

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(cupcake party with my friend Emily!)

After nearly 22 years of living, 18 years of schooling, 9 years of serving in Mexico, 4 years of college, 2 years of pursuing a degree in Marketing, and a 2 month application and interview process…

 I HAVE A JOB AFTER GRADUATION!

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This all started as a dream when I was 13. I went on a missions trip with my church to Juarez to build a house and decided that was what I wanted to do with my life. After my freshman year, I did an internship called Project Nexus (read about it here: http://www.amor.org/join/field/nexus.) It was the best decision of my life. Here is me as a Nexus with a Seasonal Staff Member, Jono (who is from Australia!)

IMG_2092I loved Nexus so much that I came back as a Seasonal (just like Jono) and worked managing various house-building projects for about 3 months.

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IMG_1812I loved my time in Mexico as a Seasonal, and I wanted to go back, but I had to spend last summer doing a marketing internship… So Amor created one for me! and I still got to work in Mexico! My dad and brother and brother’s friend came to visit me this time and built a house in 3 days- Read more here! http://www.amor.org/trips/individual/mexico

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IMG_1976I decided at the end of my internship to apply for a full time position, and got it! whoop! soooo… tomorrow I’m flying to San Diego for a Sentri interview (trusted traveler) to help out with getting across the border and to visit the office and get some fundraising materials. My position is 100% support raised and I’m so excited!! (if you can’t tell)

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iHasta la pasta!

 

 

 

 

Allegra Vieux

By

September 17, 2013

The Society: Dallas Conference

September 17, 2013 | By | One Comment

IMG_2168Greetings blog fam.

For those of you just tuning in, I’m the President of The National Society of Leadership and Success: MNU Chapter. Last year I did an internship and started our chapter, and this is our second semester in the making. Holla!

Over the weekend, one of our amazing advisers, Dr. Clark, took us to the regional leadership retreat in Dallas, TX. Dallas is about 8 hours away from Olathe, and the conference was from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon. Pictured above is Dr. Clark, me, Savannah Hoit (treasurer,) and Katy Ward (Secretary.) [Not pictured: Ron Jackson (Co-Adviser) Emily DeLong (VP) and Stephen Rowell (IT Coordinator.) They couldn't make it this weekend and we missed them dearly!]

We are STOKED on the new direction our chapter is going. We have Orientation tomorrow (Wednesday night) at 9pm in Smith. Anyone is welcome and encouraged to come! A little preview: Glow sticks and balloons are involved!

No road trip would be complete without a super sketchy hotel experience! On our way to Dallas we stayed the night in Oklahoma City. I won’t go into grave detail, but I will say we are happy we made it out with our lives.

IMG_2163When we arrived to our hotel in Dallas (the Hilton) all memory of the Ramada was erased. This hotel was 5 star in my book. The decor was beautiful, the staff helpful, the elevators glass (ignore my reflection above,) …I felt like a PRINCESS! We were on floor 11 (Except Savannah who was technically in room 1408- muahaha!) it was AWESOME!

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IMG_2170The pictures above are with the national executive officers from the office in Hoboken, NJ. The top photo is with Reema and Claire and the bottom is with Dede (WHO IS FROM OVERLAND PARK. AND A JAYHAWK FAN. ROCK CHALK!) We had to take a Kansas Picture!

Finally, what we’ve all been waiting for: The Sleeping Selfies!

IMG_2173 IMG_2175Oh, and the #SNAPCHATS of the week!

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This is my friend Greg who is from New Jersey but I met him in Mexico doing an internship. He has nothing to do with MidAmerica but he def is a true friend. Look at that snapchat!

Peace and Blessins

KUHKAW

 

Allegra Vieux

By

September 9, 2013

Welcome to Senior Year

September 9, 2013 | By | No Comments

Remember that one time when I wrote about living in California/Mexico for the summer? Well, my internship came to a close and I’m back in good ole Kansas. I traded the rolling oceans for this:

Kansas Sky

 

Strangely enough, the blank open space is refreshing after a couple of crowded cities. There’s no place like home! (sorry, I just vomited from my own corny-ness.)

 

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The picture above is of my good friend Stephen and me sitting in Accounting class. Before the lecture started, someone turned around and said “smile!” and snapchatted it to me. Pre-collegiate friends who are reading, take note of 2 things:

  1. SnapChat is permanent, no matter what people say or what updates they send to your smartphone.
  2. Don’t put off your gen-eds until senior year. They may seem awful when you’re a freshman or sophomore, but they’re even worse when you are in your senior year!

 

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Above is one of my roommates, Kassidy. We have already had time for a girl’s night out, event in the craziness of the first two weeks of school. She plays basketball and is like a sister to me already!

 

 

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This is Tara, she is an admissions counselor and she is AMAZING! We also were matching on the first day of school!

 

photo(4)…aaaand then we also had to throw in an impromptu end of the summer pool party!

 

It’s looking like a great year.

Hasta la pasta

Allegra Vieux

By

June 8, 2013

Summer Internship

June 8, 2013 | By | No Comments

Amor is on Instagram! #ComeBuildHope

Amor is on Instagram! #ComeBuildHope

Hello Blog World.

What have I been up to this summer? Chilling by the pool? enjoying lake day weekends? Sipping lemonade and soaking up the sun?

If you guessed any of the above, none are completely out of the question. The answer is, this week I started my academic internship with Amor Ministries in sunny San Diego!

Amor is an international non-profit organization that holds a special place in my heart. Here’s a blurb from the website that shares the vision:

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check out more at http://www.amor.org!

Amor is best known for building houses in order to keep families together. Groups from all over come for a week and build a house together without power tools. While they’re with us they stay in tents at our campsite and shower with buckets. The current house building locations are Mexico, Arizona, and South Africa.

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There are lots of other things Amor does as well. Project Hope is an example. It’s made up of 5 branches. One is the Clean Water for Life program, as well as the others listed below.

Clean Water for Life!

Clean Water for Life!

Back to School, Food Pantry, Bibles, and Winter Relief

Back to School, Food Bank, Bibles, and Winter Relief

How I got involved with Amor:

When I was 13 my parents let me go on my first international missions trip with my church. We went to Juarez to build a house over spring break and by day 2 I was sold. I started taking Spanish when I got back to school and continue to study Spanish. We went back to Juarez twice after that and on the third trip I translated for our group (not because after 2 years of Spanish I was any good, but because I had basic knowledge and Mexicans are very gracious.) Between my freshman and sophomore years, I came and did the Project Nexus internship with Amor, and I camped for 10 weeks with 7 other interns and stayed on site with groups all summer long. Last summer I was here as a field specialist overseeing multiple sites and managing the summer Nexus interns. This summer I’m doing a few weeks as a specialist and about 5 weeks of developing a campaign for the marketing division.

My first complete project: create an Instagram account for the office. DONE!

Participants can share their Amor experience by including the trending topic #ComeBuildHope on any social media platform, and Amor can share photos from the field or the office on the new account. Follow us! @AmorMinistries

My next project is about a 4 phase project and on Sunday I will begin phase 1: Research.

The overall goal is to create a campaign to get students (high school and college age) to raise funds for Amor during the year. We’ve been calling it an individual partnership project. During this phase I’ll be talking to our participants and getting feedback on what would motivate them to raise funds, what is popular right now, what their media habits are, etc.

Phase 2 is to create a storyboard and combine everything I heard and come up with a plan of action for launching the project.

Phase 3 is to work on a web design/website layout.

aaaand phase 4 is to create the marketing plan for the project.

 

am I excited? Only a little bit!

I’ll be blogging over the summer about my experiences with Amor both stateside and in Mexico. Feel free to follow along!

 

Allegra Vieux

By

May 12, 2013

Ummm finals?

May 12, 2013 | By | No Comments

So school is out. And this is what’s left of our brains. Enjoy.

Watch the insanity unfold.

Allegra Vieux

By

April 25, 2013

24

April 25, 2013 | By | No Comments

24 is a pretty interesting number.

24 is the name of a tv show about fighting terrorism.

there are 24 hours in a day.

24 oceans in a Switchfoot song.

24 eggs in a 2-dozen egg carton.

24 bottles of water in a flat.

24 engaged couples at MNU.

….

WHAT.

that’s like. 48 people. and don’t get me started on that number, but let’s just mention that it is only 2 from 50. which is half of 100.

So for those of you who are happily engaged, congrats!

and for those of you hanging out on team single for life, there’s still time in the semester!

In fact, some friends of mine in the latter category decided, heck, why should we miss out on the engagement fun?!

So, ladies and gents of MNU Blogs, may I present to you couples number 25, 26, and 27!

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This is fiance number 1: Andy Blum. Andy and I were first official in campus center filming a vlog for this very media platform. Spotted twice in 2 days in campus center during the off-hours and then the next night at a basketball game together, talks of visiting the gazebo became real during the president’s gala. Andy has been in love with Allegra for YEARS and couldn’t wait to pop the question, which is why he was the first to propose.

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Fiance number 2: Jarret Garber. Jarret and I were first seen in campus center sharing a meal (with other friends: a courtship of sorts.) He would then conveniently sit next to me in campus center during meal times and you could say it was love with each bite. Nicknames he calls me include: wifey, sweet cheeks, honey boo-boo, and hot broccoli (you would understand if you saw his diet.)

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Fiance #3: Ethan Hargrave. Ethan transferred to MNU last semester and plays baseball. Ethan decided moments before he proposed that he couldn’t live without me. The proposal could not have been better: a sunny senior day at Dixon Stadium in front of the masses with a hotdog foil ring. I made him the happiest man in the world (or at least 1/3) by saying YES!

True love is hard to come by. Also there are about 50 people on facebook who congratulated me that didn’t catch I got engaged 3 times in one week. Things may be a little weird when it comes time to plan weddings, but the good news is my wedding board on pinterest will not have been used in vain.

Stay tuned for more engagements in the last 2 weeks of school!