I am a college student, and for that I am thankful. But it is also a very stressful time. I mean, I don’t remember a time where I was at a family gathering and wasn’t asked about school or my future career. When asked about my major, I find an almost whisper and respond, “psychology.” That single worded response elicits so many questions. “What do you want to do with that?” “Do you know you have to go to graduate school to be a counselor?” I shake my head quietly every time-o But secretly I am thinking “do you know how many times I have heard that?!”
Man… there are times I want to give up. I am thinking about it right now as I type. What would it be like, if I left? Found some job… maybe work in a church? That is my dream. I definitely would not have to worry about taking finals next week. Cross an item off my worry list… I wonder what it would be like to have my own place… I would get a dog. Definitely. Is this the stress that is talking? Probably.
I really do love college. The people I have met will forever change my life. The things I have learned will forever change my narrow-minded perspective. The stories I have will be forever told to my children, who with no doubt, will be sick of them by the tenth time around. The relationship with Christ I have built, without a question, will last longer than “forever” but literally eternity. That is something I treasure most about being a college student, particularly at a Christian school. I have asked more questions, I have contemplated more ideas–that I am not sure I knew existed–, and I have stepped out into more boldness than ever in my life. It’s a jumpstart. It’s a jumpstart to my adult life. My adult life that still has a considerable amount of time; I am just now reaching it.
This time in college, is stressful. It is hard. It is challenging. Sometimes I wonder where I fit in. Sometimes I wonder where God is. I get homesick. And I sure do not get enough sleep for what is good for me. But it is a time where I have learned more than I could have ever imagined. I am working on building a foundation for my life. I am studying to be a better citizen, daughter, sister, future wife and mother, future career person and counselor, and a better daughter of Christ. A better workman for His glory. These stepping stones, are messy. Life is messy. It isn’t easy, but I am growing. That is the ultimate goal, right? To grow. To grow in education and maturity, to grow into someone that has dreams and visions. With an eternal perspective. Not set on the things this world offer, but what is really important.
So yes, I am not always in the best mood. I fail daily. I am not always the person I know God has created me to be. But I am learning. Learning with open hands, with an open mind, with an open heart, and with open eyes. To learn what Christ has already done and is going to do, and to be willing to follow it. Maybe not everyone gets this same experience in college. You definitely don’t have to have this experience in college. But this is where I am at. This is where I am supposed to be. I don’t think that way enough. I will take in my learning and growing process. It is messy. It is scary. And it is hard. But it pays off.
Thanks for listening